Read the First Pages of Don't Eat Your Boogers (You'll Turn Green)

Aug 26, 2024 by Carrie Lowrance

Goober McGee had a habit. Some kids chewed their fingernails, other kids stretched out their clothes.

Goober ate his boogers. It wasn’t like he enjoyed it, but most of the time he didn’t have a tissue. So what was he supposed to do? He never dreamed it would become such an issue until one day….

“Ew! Don’t eat your boogers, you’ll turn green!” his older brother, Sludge, said to him one day. Goober was reading a book on the couch and Sludge came in to watch some television.

“No, I won’t! Mrs. Cherokee has never said anything in science class about that kind of stuff. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, I do because it happened to me once.I had the same bad habit and I eventually turned green. My whole body turned green.” he said.

“I still think you’re pulling my leg,” Goober said.

“Just keep it up and you’ll see what happens,” Sludge said, walking into the kitchen. Goober popped another crusty one in his mouth and started another chapter. Not long after, it was time to go to bed.

The next morning, Goober woke up and looked in the mirror. He still had the same coloring as yesterday. He looked at himself all over before he got dressed and couldn’t find a speck of green.

Sludge was ridiculous. Goober raced downstairs for a breakfast of blueberry waffles before he headed off to school.

Goober loved school. His favorite classes were English and science. He loved playing with his friends outside and trading food in the lunchroom. And all through the day he ate his boogers. In homeroom, in math class,on the playground and in the bathroom.

The warning Sludge gave him kept ringing in his head, but he couldn’t stop. Some of his other friends did it so it really wasn’t that big a deal. It’s not like he was cheating on his homework or putting a whoopee cushion in the teacher’s chair. Sludge was just being over dramatic. Wasn’t he?

The next morning, Goober woke up and looked in the mirror again. He couldn’t believe what he saw. He was a booger yellow shade of green-everywhere.

“Aaaaaaaauuuuuuuugh! Sludge!” he screamed.

“What?!” Sludge called, running down the hall and sliding into Goober’s room.

“Oh, no Goober. Do you believe me now?” he asked.

“Yes!” he cried, panicked. “But what do I do now? How do I fix it?”

“You’re going to have to go to the doctor. Let’s go show Mom and Dad.” Sludge said, turning on his heel and heading downstairs.

Goober quickly threw on his clothes and ran after him. Once they saw him, his mom made a call to the doctor’s office. Not long after, they left.

Copyright 2015 Carrie Lowrance

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